The Roles of the Bride and Groom

It is important that the the bride and groom work closely together on the wedding preparations.

One of the best parts of the wedding is asking your friends or family to be members of your bridal party.

Most people consider it an honor to be in the bridal party, but do put some careful thought in who you choose.

The bride and groom determine exactly how many are to be in the bridal party.

This could be determined by how large the ceremony site is. If the site has a large enough altar area for the bride and groom and say thirty members of the bridal party then go for it.

However, if the area is small and can only accommodate a total of ten (this includes the bride and groom and eight members of the bridal party) you will have to prioritize who you would like to give the honor to.

Other decisions and choices the bride and groom have to make are:

• Set a wedding date.
• Choose the type of the ceremony to have (church, civil celebrant or registry), the music and the venue.
• Decide on where the reception is to be held together with the bride's parents if they are paying.
• Choose the menu for the reception.
• Decide on the honeymoon destination and make travel plans.
• Choose the photographer, videographer.
• Select the wedding cake.
• Plan the guest list.
• Organize the invitations.
• Seating arrangements at the reception.
• Select music for the reception.
• Receive the guests at the reception, with both sets of parents.
• Have the first dance at the reception.
• Farewells each guest personally.
• Select and buy gifts for your bridal party.
• Communicate between both families.

The Role of the Bride

The bride chooses her bridal party members and invites them to join the bridal party. Being part of the bridal party is an enormous role, and a lot has to be done before and during the wedding itself.

You should choose someone that you think can handle it. If you have a really close friend that you want to give the honor of being your Matron or Chief Bridesmaid then do so. You may also feel that you have to choose a family member as well, but that’s not necessary.

The bride sets the style for the wedding by selecting her gown and the gowns of her bridal party attendants.

• Delegates the planning of the wedding.
• The bride selects her going-away outfit (trousseau).
• She also selects the type of flowers and buttonholes for the wedding party.
• Buys the groom's wedding ring.

The Role of the Groom

Traditionally the bride and her mother were the main planners of the wedding, but more and more the groom is taking a bigger role in planning, as well as financially.

He will help research locations and wedding professionals, meet with vendors and finalize contracts. The groom chooses his best man. He can decide to have two best men for his bridal party.

If he chooses he could ask his father to be his best man (and what a way to honor any father!) The groom also chooses his groomsmen (they can also double up as ushers) the general rule is one usher for every fifty guests. Other decisions and choices to make are:

• Assists with the wedding planning.
• Communicates the wedding information to his family.
• Make sure his family comes up with a guest list (and sticks to numbers allotted).
• Arranges and pays for the marriage license.
• Covers the cost of the officiant's fee.
• Chooses a gift for his bride.
• Buys the bride's wedding ring.
• He makes the reservations for the honeymoon.

The Duties of the Bestman

The Bestman is traditionally the groom's brother or close friend. Some grooms choose their father, or two brothers or friends to fill this role. His job is to give help to the groom, both before and during the wedding.

Before the wedding

The best man helps coordinate the groom's attire and schedules fittings and clothing pickups and returns the suit to the formal wear shop after the wedding if they have been hired.

• Plans the bachelor party.
• He organizes the ushers at the church.
• He gives the groom moral support before the wedding and makes sure the groom gets to the church on time.
• Sits with the groom until the bride arrives.

During the ceremony

• He ensures that all ushers are properly dressed.
• Keeps the rings safe and accessible until need during the ceremony.
• Signs the marriage license as a witness.
• Passes the envelope with the officiant's fee to the officiant after the ceremony.

During the reception

• The best man may be announced as he enters the reception.
  
• Gives the first toast at the reception.
• Dances the first dance with the maid or matron of honor.
• Is available for photos.

Pays for

• Contributes to the cost of the bachelor party.
• Pays for the hire of his clothing or purchase.

The Duties of the Bridesmaids

The Bridesmaids can help with the wedding plans. Organize the bridal shower, attend the bachelorette night and help you with any tasks ranging from putting together the party favors, putting the invitations into envelopes and posting these off.

Before the wedding

• Plans the bridal shower and the bachelorette party with the Maid or Matron of honor.
• Helps the bride with addressing invitations, assembling favors and other tasks.
• Gives the bride emotional support when she needs it.
• Arrives at the bride’s house for photos before the ceremony.

During the ceremony

• Walks in the processional and recessional.

During the reception

• May be announced as she enters the reception.
• Dances with the groomsman during the first dance.
• Mingles with the guest.
• Is available for photos throughout the day.

Pays for

• Usually chips in with the other bachelorette party guest to pay for the bride's night out.
• Her own dress, shoes, and accessories (unless the bride offers to pay).
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Father Of The Bride

Traditionally the father of the bride was the host of the wedding and because he paid for the majority of the wedding expenses, he may have had a large say in the wedding plans.

These days his role has changed a bit because he may not be the only financial contributor.

Before the wedding

• The bride's father may help in the wedding plans and decision making.
• Will host the first engagement party-with the mother of the bride.
• May help out-of town guest with their travel arrangements and accommodations.
• Gets fitted for formal wear to match or coordinate with the groom, groomsmen, and father of the groom.
• May attend the bachelor party.
• Escorts the bride to the ceremony.

During the ceremony

• Walks the bride down the aisle.
• When the bride and her father reach the groom, he will often shakes hands with the groom and places the brides hand in the groom's, lifts the bride's veil and kisses her.
• Sits in the first row with the mother of the bride. If they are divorced and not on great terms with each other, the parent that the bride is closest to, sits in the first pew and the other parent sits in the third or fourth row with their new spouse if they are remarried.

During the reception

• The bride's father may stand in the receiving line, or can mingle with the guests instead.
• Father of the bride can be announced at the reception just ahead of the groom's parents and the bridal party.
• Is seated at the bridal table.
• Shares a special dance with his daughter at the reception.
• Can offer a toast to the newlyweds after the best man does.
• Works with the wedding venue staff to solve any problems that arise during the night.
• He stays until the very last guest leaves and settles any outstanding bills with the wedding vendors.
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Father of the Groom

The Father of the Groom may not have as visible a role as the father of the bride, but he should still be an honored guest at the wedding.

Before the wedding

• He hosts a rehearsal dinner.
• Gets fitted for formal wear to match or coordinate with the groom, groomsmen and father of the bride.
• The grooms father can contribute to the wedding costs.
• May attend the bachelor party.

During the ceremony

• He sits in the front row on the groom's side

During the reception

• He may stand in the receiving line, or can mingle with the guests instead.
• The grooms father may be announced at the reception after the bride's parents but ahead of the bridal party.
• The grooms father is seated at the bridal table.
• If he is paying for the wedding, he can act as host.
• He has a dance with the bride some time during the reception.
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Duties of the Flower Girl

The flower girls is usually aged between fourand eight years old. At some weddings she may scatter flower petals in front of the bride.

She may sit with her mother in the church (if she is really young) until just before the bridal procession is ready to leave.

If she is slightly older she will sit with the bridesmaids during the ceremony. But be aware that the younger they are the more unpredictable they can be, and may refuse to walk down the aisle on the day.

So it may be wise to choose the older child, or be prepared to accept that she may refuse and in this case you will have to go without her.

If you have very young children in your bridal party, ask the parents to help their child practice at home before the wedding.

Before the wedding

• She is available for dress fittings.

During the ceremony

• Walks in the processional ahead of the bride.

During the reception

• Attends the reception at the discretion of her parents.

Pays for

• Traditionally the dress, shoes and accessories are paid for by her parents (unless the bride offers to pay).
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The Duties Of The Groomsmen (Ushers)

The groomsmen can also act as ushers and are the helpers of the best man. They can be the brothers of the bride or groom or a few close friends.

Before the wedding

• They help the best man plan the bachelor party.
• They go to scheduled fittings for the wedding outfit.
• They pick up the outfits if the suits are rented.
• Helps the best man to arrange transport for all the guests to the reception.

During the ceremony

• Arrives early at the church or ceremony location.
• They direct the guests to their places in the church. The usher should ask if they are family of the bride or groom, before showing them to a pew on the appropriate side of the church (brides family sit on the right side of the church, the grooms family on the left). Friends of the couple can sit on either side.
• Distributes the orders of service or hymn books to guest, and make sure that there is a supply at the front of the church for the wedding party and minister to use.
• Shows the bride's mother to her seat.
• Escorts the bridesmaids from the church.

During the reception

• May be announced as he enters the reception.
• Dances with the bridesmaid during the first dance.
• Is available for photos.

Pays for

• Helps pay for the cost of the bachelor party.
• Pays for the hire of clothing or purchase.

Junior Bridesmaids Duties

The Junior Bridesmaids are usually aged between nine and fourteen. When selecting children for the bridal party consider their age and maturity for the task. 

Their dress often coordinates with the bridesmaids, but is usually slightly different. They do not attend the bachelorette party or pay for the shower.

Before the wedding

• The junior bridesmaids are available for dress fittings.
• Attends the bridal shower.
  

During the ceremony

• Walks in the processional and recessional, just ahead of the maid or matron of honor.
  

During the reception

• May be announced as she enters the reception.
  

Pays for

• Traditionally her dress, shoes and accessories are paid for by her parents (unless the bride offers to pay).
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Duties Of The Maid Or Matron Of Honor

The Maid or Matron of Honor these are the most important of the bridesmaids. Usually the bride's sister or her closest friend, and in some cases if you are really close to your mother you may want to ask her. 

If you decide to have more than one maid or matron of honor (or one of each) they can split the duties, although the maid of honor role should take precedence during the ceremony (she should be the one to arrange your veil, and train and hold your bouquet). 

She may also carry a make-up kit and emergency repair kit (safety pins, needle and thread, spare tights, tissues etc.)

Before the wedding

• The maid or matron of honour attends all pre-wedding events such as the engagement party, showers, and bachelorette party.
• May help plan the bridal shower and bachelorette party (it is not required of them to do this but may do).
• The maid or matron of honour gives the bride emotional support when needed.
• May help the bride choose her wedding dress.
• Keeps records of the gifts given to the bride at the shower.
• Helps the bride in addressing invitation envelopes or any other task for which the bride may need assistance.
• Arrives at the bride's house for photos before the ceremony. Helps the bride dress for the wedding.
• Checks that the bride has packed everything she will need for her honeymoon.

During the ceremony

• Arranges the bride's veil and train for the processional and recessional.
• Holds the bride's bouquet.
• She may hold the groom's wedding band until the officiant asks for it.
• The maid or matron of honour acts as a witness and signs the marriage license.
• Leaves the church with the best man.

During the reception

• Stands in the receiving line with the bride, groom and their parents.
• May be announced as she enters the reception.
• The maid or matron of honor may choose to give a toast to the newlyweds.
• Dances with the best man for the first dance.
• Is available for photos throughout the day.
• Keeps an eye out on the younger bridesmaids at the reception.
• Helps the bride to change out of her wedding dress and get her ready to the leave the reception.

Pays for

• Typically splits the bill for the bridal shower with the bridesmaids.
• Usually chips in with the other bachelorette party guest to pay for the bride's night out.
• Her own dress, shoes, and accessories (unless the bride offers to pay).
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Mother of the Bride

Traditionally the the mother of the bride took on a major role of planning the wedding, but these days, with many couples working they will pay for the wedding themselves, or split the costs with their parents. 

Her role will depend on how much the bride wants to include her. Among her duties that she will perform are:

Before the ceremony

• She hosts the first engagement party.
• Attends all the showers planned in the bride's honor. She should not host a shower herself.
• Helps with the wedding plans.
• Selects her clothing for the wedding and lets the groom's mother know of her choice.
• Shares a special item with the bride, perhaps a piece of jewelery she wore on her own wedding day, or provides her with all or some of the items, for "something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue.
• Helps her daughter dress.

During the ceremony

• In some cases walks the bride down the aisle. It is customary at a Jewish wedding for both parents of the bride to walk her down the aisle. Also if the father of the bride has passed away or not involved in the bride's life, the the bride's mum can escort her down the aisle in his place.
• She is the last person seated before the procession begins, which is a signal that the bride is soon to arrive.
• She should be seated in the front row on the bride's side.
• May light a candle from which the bride will later light, a unity candle with her groom.

During the reception

• Stands in the receiving line with the bride and groom. The receiving line can take place straight after the ceremony or as guest are arriving at the reception.
• The bride's mum can be announced at the reception just ahead of the groom's parents and the bridal party.
• She acts as an official hostess of the party mingling and greeting guest.
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Mother of the Groom

The mother of the groom her role will depending on her relationship with her future daughter-in-law, she may be asked to help in the wedding planning to some extent. 

At least she should be kept up to date about the style of the wedding so that she will know what to expect and how to dress.

Before the wedding

• The grooms mum arranges a get-together with the bride's family after the engagement has been announced.
• Can help the bride and her parents put the announcements of the engagement and wedding in the local newspaper.
• Attends bridal showers held in the bride's honor.
• Consults with the bride's mum about clothing for the wedding.
• Hosts the rehearsal dinner. If she and the groom's father are divorced, either one or both of them can plan and pay for the rehearsal dinner.

During the ceremony

• The groom's mum should be seated in the front row on the groom's side.
• May light a candle from which the bride will later light a unity candle with her groom.

During the reception

• She stands in the receiving line with the bride and groom.
• May be announced at the reception after the bride's parents by ahead of the bridal party.
• Is seated at the bridal table.
• Dances with her son to a special song.
• Mingles with the guests.

The Roles of the Ring Bearer or Page Boy

The ring bearer or page boy is usually aged between four and eight years old. He walks down the aisle, either alongside or just ahead of the flower girl.

He may carry a ring pillow, where the two symbolic wedding rings are tied, the best man holds onto the real rings.

He may also carry the veil or the train up and down the aisle. Depending on his age he may sit with his parents or with the bridesmaids during the ceremony.

When making your choice do take his age into consideration, don't be to disappointed if on the day he decides he will not carry the rings down the aisle for you.

Before the wedding

• The page boy is available for fittings.

During the ceremony

• The page boy walks down the aisle (and can carry the rings) either alongside or just ahead of the flower girl.

During the reception

• Attends the reception at the discretion of his parents.

Pays for

• Traditionally clothing for the page boy is paid for by his parents (unless the bride offers to pay).
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